30; Tyler
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<br/> dry sort of way. Tyler looks at his watch.
<br/>
<br/>  TYLER
<br/> One minute.
<br/> (looking out window)
<br/> This is the beginning. We're at
<br/> ground zero. Maybe you should say a
<br/> few words, to mark the occasion.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> ... i... ann....iinn.. ff....nnyin...
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> With a gun barrel between your teeth,
<br/> you only speak in vowels.
<br/>
<br/> Jack tongues the barrel to the side of his mouth.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> (still distorted)
<br/> I can't think of anything.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> With my tongue, I can feel the
<br/> rifling in the barrel. For a second,
<br/> I totally forgot about Tyler's whole
<br/> controlled demolition thing and I
<br/> wondered how clean this gun is.
<br/>
<br/> Tyler checks his watch.
<br/>
<br/>  TYLER
<br/> It's getting exciting now.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> That old saying, how you always hurt
<br/> the one you love, well, it works both
<br/> way.
<br/>
<br/> Jack turns so that he can see down -- 31 STORIES.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> We have front row seats for this
<br/> Theater of Mass Destruction. The
<br/> Demolitions Committee of Project
<br/> Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns
<br/> of ten buildings with blasting
<br/> gelatin. In two minutes, primary
<br/> charges will blow base charges, and
<br/> those buildings will be reduced to
<br/> smoldering rubble. I know this
<br/> because Tyler knows this.
<br/>
<br/>  TYLER
<br/> Look what we've accomplised.
<br/> (checks watch)
<br/> Thirty seconds.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Somehow, I realize all of this -- the
<br/> gun, the bombs, the revolution -- is
<br/> really about Marla Singer.
<br/>
<br/> PULL BACK from Jack's face. It's pressed against TWO LARGE
<br/> BREASTS that belong to...BOB, 45, a moose of a man. Jack is
<br/> engulfed by Bob in an intense embrace. Bob weeps openly.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Bob had bitch tits.
<br/>
<br/> PULL BACK to wide on...
<br/>
<br/> INT. CHURCH MEETING ROOM - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Men are paired off, hugging, talking in emotional tones.
<br/> Near the door, a SIGN on a stand: &quot;REMAINING MEN TOGETHER.&quot;
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> This was a support group for men with
<br/> testicular cancer. The big moosie
<br/> slobbering all over me was Bob.
<br/>
<br/>  BOB
<br/> We're still men.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> Yes. We're men. Men is what we are.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Six months ago, Bob's testicles were
<br/> removed. Then hormone therapy. He
<br/> developed bitch tits because his
<br/> testosterone was too high and his
<br/> body upped the estrogen. That was
<br/> where my head fit -- into his huge,
<br/> sweating tits that hung enormous, the
<br/> way we think of God's as big.
<br/>
<br/>  BOB
<br/> They're gonna have to open my pec's
<br/> again to drain the fluid.
<br/>
<br/> Bob hugs tighter; then looks with empathy into Jack's eyes.
<br/>
<br/>  BOB
<br/> Okay. You cry now.
<br/>
<br/> Jack looks at Bob.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Wait. Back up. Let me start earlier.
<br/>
<br/> INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Jack lies in bed, staring at the ceiling.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> For six months. I could not sleep.
<br/>
<br/> INT. COPY ROOM - DAY
<br/>
<br/> Jack, sleepy, stands over a copy machine. His Starbucks cup
<br/> sits on the lid, moving back and forth as the machine copies.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> With insomnia, nothing is real.
<br/> Everything is far away. Everything
<br/> is a copy of a copy of a copy.
<br/>
<br/> Other people make copies, all with Starbucks cups, sipping.
<br/> Jack picks up his cup and his copies and leaves.
<br/>
<br/> INT. JACK'S OFFICE - SAME
<br/>
<br/> Jack, sipping, stares blankly at a Starbucks bag on the
<br/> floor, full of newspapers and FAST FOOD GARBAGE.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> When deep space exploration ramps up,
<br/> it will be corporations that name
<br/> everything. The IBM Stellar Sphere.
<br/> The Philip Morris Galaxy. Planet
<br/> Starbucks.
<br/>
<br/> Jack looks up as a pudgy man, Jack's BOSS, enters, Starbucks
<br/> cup in hand, and slides a stack of reports on Jack's desk.
<br/>
<br/>  BOSS
<br/> I'm going to need you out-of-town a
<br/> little more this week. We've got
<br/> some &quot;red-flags&quot; to cover.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> It must've been Tuesday. he was
<br/> wearing his &quot;cornflower-blue&quot; tie.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> (listless management speak)
<br/> You want me to de-prioritize my
<br/> current reports until you advise of
<br/> a status upgrade?
<br/>
<br/>  BOSS
<br/> You need to make these your primary
<br/> &quot;action items.&quot;
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> He was full of pep. Must've had his
<br/> grande latte enema.
<br/>
<br/>  BOSS
<br/> Here are your flight coupons. Call
<br/> me from the road if there are any
<br/> snags. Your itinerary...
<br/>
<br/> Jack hides a yawn, pretends to listen.
<br/>
<br/> INT. BATHROOM - JACK'S CONDO - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Jack sits on the toilet, CORDLESS PHONE to his ear, flips
<br/> through an IKEA catalog. There's a stack of old Playboy
<br/> magazines and other catalogs nearby.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Like everyone else, I had become a
<br/> slave to the IKEA nesting instinct.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> (into phone)
<br/> Yes. I'd like to order the Erika
<br/> Pekkari slip covers.
<br/>
<br/> Jack drops the open catalog on the floor.
<br/>
<br/> MOVE IN ON CATALOG -- ON PHOTO of COFFEETABLE SET...
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> If I saw something like clever coffee
<br/> table sin the shape of a yin and
<br/> yang, I had to have it.
<br/>
<br/> PAN TO PHOTO of ARMCHAIR...
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Like the Johanneshov armchair in the
<br/> Strinne green stripe pattern...
<br/>
<br/> INT. LIVING ROOM/DINING AREA/KITCHEN
<br/>
<br/> The armchair APPEARS. PAN OVER next to armchair...
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Or the Rislampa wire lamps of
<br/> environmentally-friendly unbleached
<br/> paper.
<br/>
<br/> The lamps APPEAR. PAN OVER to wall...
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Even the Vild hall clock of
<br/> galvanized steel, resting on the
<br/> Klipsk shelving unit.
<br/>
<br/> The clock APPEARS as the shelving unit APPEARS on the wall.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> I would flip through catalogs and
<br/> wonder, &quot;What kind of dining set
<br/> defines me as a person?&quot; We used to
<br/> read pornography. Now it was the
<br/> Horchow Collection.
<br/>
<br/> A dining room set APPEARS. Jack, the cordless phone still
<br/> glued to his ear, walks INTO FRAME and continues.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> No, I don't want Cobalt. Oh, that
<br/> sounds nice. Apricot.
<br/>
<br/> Jack opens a cabinet, takes out a plate.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> I had it all. Even the glass dishes
<br/> with tiny bubbles and imperfections,
<br/> proof they were crafted by the
<br/> honest, simple, hard-working
<br/> indigenous peoples of wherever.
<br/>
<br/> He rummages through the refrigerator. It's practically
<br/> empty. Jack takes out a jar of mustard, opens it and uses
<br/> a butter knife to eat it.
<br/>
<br/> INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY
<br/>
<br/> Jack, eyes puffy, face pale, sits before an INTERN, who
<br/> studies him with bemusement.
<br/>
<br/>  INTERN
<br/> No, you can't die of insomnia.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> Maybe I died already. Look at my
<br/> face.
<br/>
<br/>  INTERN
<br/> You need to lighten up.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> Can't you give me something?
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Red-and-blue Tuinal, lipstick-red
<br/> Seconals.
<br/>
<br/>  INTERN
<br/> (overlapping w/ above)
<br/> You need healthy, natural sleep.
<br/> Chew valerian root and get some more
<br/> exercise.
<br/>
<br/> The Intern ushes Jack to the door. They step into the...
<br/>
<br/> INT. HALLWAY
<br/>
<br/> The Intern walks away from Jack, picks up a chart.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK
<br/> I'm in pain.
<br/>
<br/>  INTERN
<br/> (facetious)
<br/> You want to see pain? Swing by First
<br/> Methodist Tuesday nights. See the
<br/> guys with testicular cancer. That's
<br/> pain.
<br/>
<br/> The Intern moves into the other room. Jack stares after him.
<br/>
<br/> EXT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Jack heads for the front door.
<br/>
<br/> INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Jack stares at a group of men, including Bob, who are all
<br/> listening to a group member speak at a lectern. The SPEAKER
<br/> has pale skin and sunken eyes -- he's clearly dying.
<br/>
<br/>  SPEAKER
<br/> I... wanted three kids. Two boys and
<br/> a girl. Mindy wanted two girls and
<br/> one boy. We never could agree on
<br/> anything.
<br/>
<br/> The Speaker cracks a sad smile. Some men chuckle, happy to
<br/> lighten the mood.
<br/>
<br/>  SPEAKER
<br/> Well, she had her first child a month
<br/> ago, a girl, with her new husband...
<br/> And, Thank God. I'm glad for her,
<br/> because she deserves...
<br/>
<br/> The speaker breaks down, WEEPS UNCONTROLLABLY.
<br/>
<br/> Jack watches. A couple of the men go up to the speaker,
<br/> comforting him, leading him away. A LEADER takes the stand.
<br/>
<br/>  LEADER
<br/> Everyone, let's thank Thomas for
<br/> sharing himself with us.
<br/>
<br/> Jack, uncomfortable, joins EVERYONE ELSE:
<br/>
<br/>  EVERYONE
<br/> (in unison)
<br/> Thank you, Thomas.
<br/>
<br/>  LEADER
<br/> I look around this room and I see a
<br/> lot of courage. And it gives me
<br/> strength. We give each other
<br/> strength.
<br/>
<br/> Jack looks around. Many of the men are sniffling, sobbing.
<br/> Jack squirms in his seat.
<br/>
<br/>  LEADER
<br/> It's time for the one-on-one. Let's
<br/> follow Thomas's example and open
<br/> ourselves.
<br/>
<br/> Everyone gets out of their chairs and begins pairing-off.
<br/> Jack stands, uncomfortable.
<br/>
<br/>  LEADER
<br/> Can everyone find a partner?
<br/>
<br/> Bob, his chin down on his chest, starts toward Jack,
<br/> shuffling his feet.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> The big moosie, his eyes already
<br/> shrink-wrapped in tears. Knees
<br/> together, invisible steps.
<br/>
<br/> Bob takes Jack into an embrace.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Bob was a champion bodybuilder. You
<br/> know that chest expansion program you
<br/> see on TV? That was his idea.
<br/>
<br/>  BOB
<br/> ...using steroids. I was a juicer.
<br/> Diabonol, then, Wisterol -- it's for
<br/> racehorses, for Christsake. Now I'm
<br/> bankrupt, divorced, my two grown kids
<br/> won't return my calls...
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Strangers with this kind of honesty
<br/> make me go a big rubbery one.
<br/>
<br/> Bob breaks into sobbing, putting his head on Jack's shoulder
<br/> and completely covering Jack's face. After a long beat of
<br/> crying, Bob raises up his head, looks at Jack's NAMETAG.
<br/>
<br/>  BOB
<br/> Go ahead, Cornelius. You can cry.
<br/>
<br/> They look at each other. Slowly, Jack's eyes grow wet.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Then... something happened. I was
<br/> lost in oblivion -- dark and silent
<br/> and complete.
<br/>
<br/> Bob pulls Jack's head back into his chest. Jack tightens
<br/> his arms around Bob.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> I found freedom. Losing all hope was
<br/> freedom.
<br/>
<br/> Jack pulls away from Bob. On Bob's chest, there's a WET
<br/> MASK of Jack's face from how he looks weeping.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> Babies don't sleep this well.
<br/>
<br/> INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Jack lies sound asleep.
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> I became addicted.
<br/>
<br/> INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Jack moves into a &quot;group hug&quot; of sickly people, men and
<br/> women. In view is a sign by the door &quot;Free and Clear.&quot;
<br/>
<br/> INT. OFFICE BUILDING BASEMENT - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Jack stands with a weeping middle-aged WOMAN. He begins to
<br/> cry along with her. A sign by the door: &quot;Onward and Upward.&quot;
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> If I didn't say anything, people
<br/> assumed the worst. They cried
<br/> harder. I cried harder.
<br/>
<br/> INT. PUBLIC BUILDING CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT
<br/>
<br/> Everyone, including Jack, sits back in their seats, EYES
<br/> CLOSED. The Leader speaks into a microphone.
<br/>
<br/>  LEADER
<br/> Tonight, we're going to open the
<br/> green door -- the heart chakra...
<br/>
<br/>  JACK (V.O.)
<br/> I wasn't really dying, I wasn't host
<br/> to cancer or parasites; I was the
<br/> warm little center that the life of
<br/> this world crowded around.
<br/>
<br/>  LEADER
<br/> ...An